On September 29th I stopped feeling like I had to cry all the time.
Two sentences in to any conversation and I would almost immediately duck away, with tears becoming the leitmotif in my life's overture. Quiet quarter note breaths and long syncopated sobs. But everything quiet. "Think about puppies" I say to myself over and over. Breathing in 3's--
trip-a-let trip-a-let trip-a-let
It would not have really mattered or become a problem if I never had to talk to anyone again in my life, which is more difficult than I had first presumed. How do you let other humans know that you have become a bonafide recluse? Do you send them a formally typed letter explaining that unfortunately, you'll not be seeing or talking to them again?
(dear sir or madam,
i regretfully inform you that i will not be seeing or talking to you again
i am only a ghost of what i once was
i don't want to drag you down with me
It won't matter soon
[all gardens eventually turn gray]